Three months after having my son
Draya. Teyanna Taylor. Kourtney and Kim Kardashian. These women have practically defined the term, "snap back". While I applaud Draya for eating healthy and working out consistently during her pregnancy, I personally give the snap back award to none other than Kim K.! Who else can fly to New Orleans just to eat beignets and whatever else they want to eat for a whole nine months and then go from 190lbs to 132 (and dropping) in six months!?
In addition to the shreds, these women can also be seen as motivating in their dedication to getting up before the sun when they have new babies to hit the gym and in their diligence to commit to such strict diets. When my baby was seven months old, I found out Kim was pregnant with her second baby. I told my friends, "Ok. I am going to enjoy chilling for now, but after Kim has her baby I am going to start working on my snap back with her!" She had her baby in December. Detemined not to let her lose baby weight twice before I lose mine once, I got my gym membership in January. While these ladies are encouragement to mommies like me who want to be in good health and shape (and eye candy for our loves), there are moments when craving the snap back can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
One week before giving birth
One thing I have learned on my journey to snapping back is snapping back isn't really real. It is relative. What is more important is the view you have of yourself after having a baby. After having my son, I was actually smaller than my pre-pregnancy weight (thanks post partum depression!). Even when I put my pounds back on, I would get told how great I look. Sure I looked great on the outside but I did not feel great on the inside. I had a pudge where I once had a six pack (ok, maybe it was more like a 2 pack), my hips spread so I could no longer fit certain clothes, and I just felt unattractive. Never mind I struggled to shower, wore maternity clothes daily, and had a baby hanging from my boob multiple times of the day.
In retrospect, I realize that it was a lot of pressure within myself that had me so unhappy. I felt pressure after having my baby to look a certain way. I struggled with eating when I could, which lead to eating not so healthy quick fat gaining processed or fast food selections, and not having a lot of free time for things like primping and working out. I have friends who work out who would tell me, "Oh this mom I know finds time to work out so you can too!" Those words, instead of motivating me, caused me to further shut down and feel inadequate. I wanted the Kourtney K post third baby body, but instead of motivating me, my desire for it pushed me into a deeper rut.
Then one day it clicked! I realized snapping back has more to do with the mind and less of the body. On that day, I accepted that I have a pooch. My pooch is not a bad thing. If I did not have my pooch, I would not have my dear son who means far more to me than a perfect body. I realized I can love myself in spite of my pooch and still be attractive with it. On that day, I didn't miraculously find more time. What I did find was five minutes to polish my fingernails, toenails, and my couch thanks to my inquisitive little one. I celebrated the opportunity to buy new clothes (bigger than my pre-baby clothes, but clothes that I got excited to wear) instead of dwelling on clothes I could no longer fit. I actually tossed out more clothes than necessary just to get a new wardrobe!
As my baby got older, I did find more time. When I felt comfortable (ironically after Kim had Saint), I got a family membership at a gym that he enjoys going to. We started turning off the TV on non-gym days and I chase him around outdoors for thirty minutes to an hour or we go for a walk in the park or swimming. I even changed my eating habits to no more sugar, alcohol, or processed foods when possible, not to lose weight, but because I want my son to eat healthy and he LOVES to model what we do. As a result of these lifestyle changes, my family is healthier, I feel better about myself, AND I have FINALLY started losing my baby weight!
I did not write this post to make any moms feel bad for not losing weight yet or not figuring out a better schedule, but to encourage. No two journeys are the same. My "snapback" has taken almost two years. Who knows. The next one can take 20! Regardless, you already have enough on your plate mom. The snap back of the mind is most important. Enjoy your time with your little person. Adjust to your role as a a new mom whether it is baby #1 or #9. When you are truly ready for the body journey, you will start it. And if you decide you don't want to that is fine too! Because the most important factor in snapping back, is being happy with and loving yourself whatever size you may be!
So many times in life, I have modified myself. I modify myself to present myself to get a job when I pretend I want what the company wants. I have modified myself for relationships to get and or keep the man. I have even modified myself in friendships and in my family to fit in. And it has never been worth it.
Keep reading to see how I learned the importance of being unapologetically me.